When I made the arduous trek from my dorm to the Bistro for a candy bar, I realized it's hard to eavesdrop on conversations nowadays, because most conversations happen over text. Regardless, I buckled up and tried to sneak behind a curly-haired jock and his friend as they walked in front of me.
The first thing I could clearly hear from either of them was "RON! RONNIE! DID YOU GO SWIMMING?" as they walked past the open windows of Clark. There was no responding shout, so I took it to mean their friend was not home. The shouts stopped.
Until they saw Charles.
"CHARLES! CHARLIE! HEY CHARLIE! [unintelligible insult and/ or friendly jibe]. YO!" The two sweaty-faced, well muscled guys (their toned arms were easily visible, and I swear I'm not a creepy stalker, although that is what it really sounds like) stop to speak to a much more mild looking guy in a sweater and jeans.
"You guys still down for tomorrow?"
"Yeah."
"I'm trying to get a bigger one . . . " (my brain immediately jumping to 'that's what she said' or 'oh my god that sounded like innuendo') " . . . for sixteen people for breakfast."
Oh, well, that was a disappointingly not dirty response. For a minute I wondered if I had the misfortune to walk behind people who were planning an orgy. Thank goodness.
Since it would look suspicious to just pull out my phone and stand behind them immediately after they stopped, I had to continue on my candy bar quest. At the door of the UC, a guy I vaguely recognized as being a fellow sophomore pushed the door open.
"So yeah--" and his phone did the most beautiful, graceful series of somersaults before landing on the doormat. "Shit" and he bent to pick it up. "Hello? Yeah, sorry, dropped my phone . . . " and again I am cut off by that whole I-don't-want-to-look-like-a-crazy-person thing that I have to do, aka keep walking like a normal person.
I like that this piece came off as a quest. It made it kind of epic, even through the self-aware stalker-ishness of the whole enterprise (which was, of course, really funny).
ReplyDeleteOh the things one hears outside dorm buildings. I think it's always interesting to listen to people coming out of buildings because if they're still talking about it when they've exited the building usually it's a topic important to them. I also find myself overhearing perfectly innocent conversations and interpreting them with a twisted, dirty mind. It's just what I do. xD
ReplyDeleteI like how casually you've presented it. It flows as it would if you heard it while walking from one point to another. You tune in and out as you would passing a conversation.